Do you keep getting involved in the same unhealthy relationships—almost as if you’re just filling a void and don’t know exactly what you want? Are you trying to re-enter the dating game after a painful breakup or divorce, but feel terrified of starting over?
Perhaps you’re in a struggling relationship that you genuinely want to save, but your partner is resistant to counseling.
On the other hand, maybe you’re already working with a couples therapist, but you’d like some additional support for your own healing and growth.
Or…it could be you’re just a guy who wonders, What the hell do women really want? and you’re looking for concrete answers from a source you can trust.
Are You Struggling To Make Meaningful Connections In Your Life?
Because —it's in our nature. Human beings are mammals, which by definition means we're built to be social. All mammals form communities: dogs live in packs, lions in prides, horses in herds, and we create families and live in neighborhoods. Unfortunately, we’ve evolved into a highly individualized culture that doesn’t inherently teach us the value of healthy relationships.
Instead, we’re offered empty promises for human connection through social media, dating apps, and our cell phones—things that actually create disconnection. Over time, that slow erosion of community, social support networks, and direct interaction has facilitated an epidemic of loneliness.
Instead, we’re offered empty promises for human connection through social media, dating apps, and our cell phones—things that actually create disconnection. Over time, that slow erosion of community, social support networks, and direct interaction has facilitated an epidemic of loneliness.
Relationships Are So! Damn! Frustrating! Why Even Bother?
Next Question: Why Do I Need Counseling For Relationships?
As adults, how we show up in relationships—how we respond to partners and navigate conflict—is typically a reflection of the behaviors and attachment patterns that we learned in early life. If certain needs weren’t met or we endured something painful, those experiences can have a powerful impact on how we relate to other people.
Working with a relationship counselor helps you understand the origins of your relationship challenges, change unhelpful behaviors, and heal the hurt at the heart of your struggles. At the same time, therapy offers you a dedicated space of support—a chance to build more effective communication skills, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty, and identify what you really want for yourself moving forward.
Working with a relationship counselor helps you understand the origins of your relationship challenges, change unhelpful behaviors, and heal the hurt at the heart of your struggles. At the same time, therapy offers you a dedicated space of support—a chance to build more effective communication skills, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty, and identify what you really want for yourself moving forward.
Relationship Counseling Is About Healing, Growth, And Transformation
Over the years, I’ve had countless clients come into individual relationship counseling for help navigating vastly different challenges. So I’ve pretty much worked with it all as a relationship therapist—from rebuilding trust and dating after divorce to healing childhood relational trauma and finding the right partner.
While those experiences taught me that human relationships are wildly complex, I also saw how working with a therapist helped people move past their pain and uncertainty into growth, insight, and change. That’s my hope for you. So whatever you are going through, I want to help you build healthier, more fulfilling relationships all around.
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Modern-day research reveals that relationship patterns formed in our developmental years influence how we show up in adult relationships. That’s why I work from an attachment-based lens, examining and addressing the core issues underlying immediate challenges. Together, we’ll explore your relationship history and how you connect with others while looking for any unhealthy patterns or behaviors you may have picked up along the way.
For instance, maybe you’re trying to deal with current problems using coping skills you developed long ago, but you’re not getting anywhere. Working together, we can identify those old survival mechanisms, address the origins of those patterns, and customize healthier, more productive ways of coping that actually benefit you and your relationships.
I’m also very skill-based, so we can work on things like:
For instance, maybe you’re trying to deal with current problems using coping skills you developed long ago, but you’re not getting anywhere. Working together, we can identify those old survival mechanisms, address the origins of those patterns, and customize healthier, more productive ways of coping that actually benefit you and your relationships.
I’m also very skill-based, so we can work on things like:
- Communicating wants, needs, and displeasure without guilt or fear.
- Advocating for yourself and dealing with conflict without trying to “win.”
- Bridging the disconnection and repairing relationships after a rupture.
- Recognizing your own dynamic in conflict and asking for forgiveness.
- Repairing trust, improving confidence, building empathy and shared respect.
How Does Individual Therapy For Relationship Issues Work?
I take a narrative approach to therapy in that I don't see you as someone who is flawed or in need of fixing. Rather, I see you as someone with unique experiences that shaped you and innate strengths that you may not yet recognize. In other words, therapy is not about "What's wrong with you?" but "What happened to you?" and "How does the past show up in your present?"
To get to the bottom of things, I draw from several strategies:
Over the years as a counselor, I've learned an immense amount about attachment theory, relationships, Gestalt work, and Object Relations—all of which greatly inform my approach to therapy as well.
To get to the bottom of things, I draw from several strategies:
- Attachment Theory looks at your early emotional attachments and how those experiences, relationships, and bonds influence current relationship dynamics.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) enables us to challenge the way we respond to conflict and other relational stressors by consciously examining the link between our thoughts, actions, and behaviors.
- Polyvagal Theory for individuals with relationship trauma uses breathwork, mindfulness, and other grounding strategies to help regulate powerful emotions, re-establish a sense of emotional safety, and build stronger, more empathetic connections.
Over the years as a counselor, I've learned an immense amount about attachment theory, relationships, Gestalt work, and Object Relations—all of which greatly inform my approach to therapy as well.
What Tools And Methods Inform My Work In Relationship Counseling?
I know that right now, you probably feel lonely, frustrated, or you think, I suck at relationships, but what you’re experiencing isn’t failure or a shortcoming. Everyone runs into relationship issues occasionally (Spoiler alert: even therapists!). The difference is—by coming to therapy (or even just reading this webpage) you’re doing something about it.
By working one-on-one within the context of a safe and trusting relationship, you’re giving yourself a chance to truly be seen and heard. You are stepping up to bravely look inside yourself, heal the unseen hurt, and be the person you truly are in the real world.
By working one-on-one within the context of a safe and trusting relationship, you’re giving yourself a chance to truly be seen and heard. You are stepping up to bravely look inside yourself, heal the unseen hurt, and be the person you truly are in the real world.
Deeper, More Profound Connections Are Out There Waiting For You
Still Have Reservations About Relationship Counseling?
A well-accepted tenet of couples counseling and family therapy is: if your partner or family member refuses to participate, go by yourself anyway. While we cannot make other people change or do what we want them to do, individual therapy can still offer you new tools for communicating better, reducing conflict, and navigating relationship issues on your own.
In fact, in couples counseling, it’s common for partners to have their own individual therapist so they can process things they don't feel comfortable talking about yet.
In fact, in couples counseling, it’s common for partners to have their own individual therapist so they can process things they don't feel comfortable talking about yet.
I can’t get my partner/family member to attend relationship therapy—what should I do?
I want you to know that I maintain the highest standards to protect your confidentiality. In addition, therapists are bound by a code of ethics and licensure that demands confidentiality. I use a well-known electronic health record (EHR) application that is tried and true. I maintain no physical files, and your personal information is kept behind a secure firewall. All session notes are encrypted, and I never use client names or anything identifying in peer consultation.
I really don’t want anyone to find out I’m seeing a relationship counselor.
The truth is: We all Google things we don't know about. We take ibuprofen for headaches. We go to the hospital when we’re injured. We do all these things without fear of judgment or shame. Why? Because sometimes we don't have all the tools we need to fix things ourselves—we need backup. And that's okay.
We’re all just human beings doing the best we can, so please, don’t beat yourself up. You deserve to be happy, and from my point of view, stepping up and asking for assistance is one of the biggest acts of strength a person can demonstrate.
We’re all just human beings doing the best we can, so please, don’t beat yourself up. You deserve to be happy, and from my point of view, stepping up and asking for assistance is one of the biggest acts of strength a person can demonstrate.
I worry what friends or family will think about me seeing a relationship therapist.
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Whether you’re dating after divorce, navigating challenges with your partner, or just trying to figure out what you want for yourself, individual therapy for relationship issues can be an incredible resource. To get started with your free, 15-minute consultation, call (843) 380-9949 or use the contact button below.
Michèle M. Vincent, LCSW, offers in-person and online relationship counseling for individuals in the Charleston area and throughout South Carolina as well as virtual appointments in Colorado.
Let Me Guide You Through The Confusion Toward Connection
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